[quote]

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4]

[5]

[wristwatch]

[6]

[7]

This is a portrait of me. Its title is a quote of a quote from this book. In English: the essence of criticism is attention. The title came after the idea of the image which was based on Wilson’s witness of an intellectual exchange between me and somebody else. He portrayed, in speech, this exchange as this somebody is punching me while I, the punchee, did nothing but watched the watch of the puncher. It cannot be a faithful portraiture of the scene due to its possible victim mentality. But the general spirit of the idea is nonetheless positive thus should be desired. Couple weeks later, I read that quote and simply craved a materialization of this idea. So I asked Wilson to make this idea into an image. And to relieve the victim mentality, I call the whole picture a portrait of me for I should also take the responsibility of the aggression.

[1] is the first draft of it. I gradually became amazed by its dullness. Nothing is spectacular about this presumably spectacular performance on both sides. The punchee resembles Wilson more than me (which is not a problem) and it looks like he is watching a tv screen. I was worried about the clarity of the “message” —watch watching—of this image. Another problem is about specificity: what time is it? Wilson was anxious about the indicated time on the dial because if the moment is specified, then the meaning of the time became not negligible while we do not have any plan for a meaning of the time. So I suggested mixing the sightline and the hands on the dial. Delia, Wilson’s partner suggested maybe some movement could be added.

One day later, [2] was finished. It simply looks slicker due to the line quality, the red color, the surrealism and the punchee’s dodging. But is the punchee too agile? It became more about the reaction instead of attention. Using the sightline to determine the time is effective. But I am not sure about the direction. So I asked Wilson to reduce the dodging and reverse the direction of the arrow.

[3] is the third draft. The hair is hilarious. Wilson said it might be helpful to create movement without moving the body. But I thought it was still too busy. Maybe the disengagement or even the toughness of tv-watching is in the end an advantage? And the direction is also not convincing. So I told Wilson that he might just add “cyclical hands” to the first draft. To explain what I meant by “cyclical hands”, I sent him [4-left] which has another problem about timing. Wilson’s image happens before the landing of the punch. So the damage is only a potential one which corresponds to attention which is only about potentiality. I don’t know if the actual damage is necessary pictorially or realistically. And [4-right] is my attempt at dramatization which is ostentatious and cheating (yes, cheating cannot be taken for granted even in art).

We are still not satisfied by [5]. Originally, I hoped we could have a totally convincing image without the need to explain with words like these. But it only produces more words. I have mixed feelings about that.

Patch 1: Several weeks later, I had a studio visit with Laura who told me she was surprised that Wilson and I had taken this image so literally—regarding narrative—while she was more interested in the materiality or rather, formal quality of it. She then told me that my work lacks a certain smell for attraction. I was thinking about that smell and suddenly realized, the reason for the punchee to watch the puncher’s watch might not be his amazing personality. He might just be a normal person and it is the watch that is so attractive, or, to use Laura’s term, has a fantastic smell, which makes this scene possible. The protagonist of this portrait is the absent watchmaker.

Patch 2: I had a studio visit with Max recently, I told him our problem with the specificty of time. Max suggested that a real watch would solve this question. So I bought a wristwatch for this portrait.

Patch 3: I made a new arrangement [6] with the help of a light panel [7].